The road ahead is familiar. Nothing wears parents down more
than ongoing behavior problems that require new and innovative
responses.
Our
goal is still to help resolve problems, promote better understanding,
and generate unity as we help build strong families for
children in safe and healthy environments. The purpose here
is to help parents understand the dangers of being unaware
of laws that effect how children are disciplined, supervised,
and sometimes other wise taken care of.
It sounds all too familiar...the child is totally out of
control and refuses to listen to anyone, has no respect
for authority, talks back - cries and throws things when
he/she can't get their way - keeps the household in a constant
high level of confusion - frequent confrontational control
battles that are loud, long, and exhausting? It may seem
like your child is in control because it seems like they
are winning, and you don't know what to do. It is up to
the parents to get to the bottom of the problem, and bring
guidance and structure back to the child's life.
Parents
must parent together whether they live together or not.
Since we live in the realistic world, we know there are
couples, single parents, grandparents, relative care givers,
adopted and foster families. In spite of how they act, the
children are looking to the parents for that safety net
that is only found within the boundaries of guidelines and
rules. Don't always think that it's something you did or
did not say, it could be, and it could not be - the important
thing is to get help. Similar scenes are being played out
in hundreds of households, in many neighborhoods across
race and economic boundaries, and no one knows until things
get out of hand!
Webster
defines parent as a father or a mother; an organism producing
another. Hence the adjective parental, the adverb parentally,
the noun parenthood. The Bible defines parent as having
a duty toward children as protector and trainer as in education,
correction, and provision. The Bible also says that it is
wrong to show favoritism, to not restrain children, to overindulge.
Many of us believe in and abide by these directives. The
scripture further directs us to obey the laws of the land.
Not some of the laws of the land, but all laws of the land.
The danger here lies in little or no knowledge of the Child
Abuse Laws: Chapter 39, the Protection from Abuse and Neglect
Statute, and the Spanking Law. Yet these are the laws that
directly impact the very fiber of the family.
It is important that parents know the dangers of being uninformed
or unprepared on how to prevent or handle a potential abuse
allegation. A reformed approach is to present parenting
information within a framework that addresses parenting
from the perspectives of enhancing family relationships,
natural consequence discipline methods, the art of controlling
emotions, conflict resolution, and family support systems.
The purpose of this approach is to learn to recognize early
warning signs in order to develop the ability to step back
from the situation to gain insight. Parents and other care
givers must learn to identify the non-positive forces that
limit effective self-control by identifying stress patterns.
So you see, we are the conductors of an orchestra where
the musical selections are our children. They cannot choose
the music, or reach the high notes, or hear the right pitch
that determines the quality or frequency of the beat for
their direction. When the child welfare system gets involved,
they choose the music, and the whole family must dance to
their tune until their band stops playing.
As
the protector of our children, and all that stands between
them and there, we must access the knowledge available to
us in order to afford our children the best protection and
support. Maybe you've spanked your child several times,
and thought nothing of it except as a form of discipline
when talking and taking away privileges were no longer effective.
It may not ever be a problem, and it won't, except if you
spank a little too hard when you're a bit more stressed
and there are welts - if your child says you spanked to
any individual required by law to make a report - and if
there are visible marks, welts, redness - it will be reported
and this is what's called an "abuse allegation.”
There will be an investigation - your child may or may not
be placed in foster care, with relatives, or remain home,
and you get a case plan requesting that you take parenting
and anger management classes.
The
experience is difficult to put into words - some describe
it as being “as though your best loved has died and
there is no comfort.” Continued...
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